Positives....

Here are my 5 positives about my husband for the past week....

1) I have a husband who will give up some of his sleep in order to let me rest if it was a long night. Lucky me!
2) He always fills my van with gas before it needs any, and washes it for me just because.
3) He insists on pushing the stroller or the shopping cart if Jack is in it, when we are out shopping . I think it's really sweet and cute!
4) He made a great business decision last week to eliminate someone difficult that will lesson his stress and benefit our family in the long run.
5) He loves me even when I am crazy and unreasonable.
6) Bonus! He took two days off this long weekend - which is very rare! And even though he had a long to-do list for the weekend, he hung out with Jack while I had 3 - yup - 3 naps, to catch up on my 2 hour night. He took Jack to do the cardboard recycling and also took Jack when he went to pick Noah and her friend up after swimming at TC.


And here are my 5 self-care actions for the past week....

1) Took Jack in the Snugli & went for a few short walks with Taz.
2) Did not let myself get sucked into more volunteering than I could handle.
3) Finished a photo project I'd been putting off.
4) Baked some very healthy and yummy Chocolate Bran muffins.
5) Went on a quick but fun shopping trip with Noah and my sister Kathie. AND went on a different (and also quick) shopping trip with my sister Jennifer!


Ok - a couple stretches, but it's getting better... It definitely helps that Jack is now getting a bit more predictable so it's easier to go out and not worry that he'll be screaming to eat the whole time. I know I still need to work on more me-time...but it's coming....

It's 4am...do you know where...

...your dog is?






{Taz & Sydney}

(Have you seen me? The little cute one on the left.)


Remember those commercials?....I'm not even sure which decade their from...but they went something like..."It's 2am...do you know where YOUR children are?"


So, I can't sleep. I'm worried about Taz. It IS 4 am and NO, I do not know where my dog is!
My sister went out to McLean Creek yesterday afternoon to visit a friend who is camping out there and brought Taz with her. She was only supposed to go out there for a few hours, then come home...but it is almost 5am and they have not come home, nor called. I'm worried. I'm not sleeping. Ugh. Hello...I have a baby that is sleeping. I should be sleeping. Grrrrr. What if Taz ran away and my sister won't come home 'cause she knows I'd kill her! What if she got in a car accident on the way home and Taz and her are laying in a ditch somewhere? What if Taz was eaten by a bear or a coyote? Yikes. The things you think of when you can't sleep!!!


I'm also not sleeping as Jack woke up just before 4am in a panic, not breathing, then screaming at the top of his lungs, scared. Let me tell you, I have never jumped out of bed that fast before in my life. My heart is still pounding and it was an hour ago. He is fine now though...calmed down, diaper changed, fed and back sleeping away.
Be still my poor heart! Not a great night to have forgotten my evening dose of blood pressure meds!


So...what's new? Last night we went out to Okotoks for Noah's last gymnastics competition of the year. And probably of her life. She did ok - won a silver medal on the uneven bars, a bronze medal on beam, 4th on floor but last of 7 on vault. She ended up 5thAA. However, they did include 2 or 3 open aged girls in her group, so without them she would have been 3rd AA. Not her finest finish, but her vault was a mess and she scored really low and that brought her AA total way down. I know she wanted to win Gold AA, but it didn't happen. She is disappointed and I am too, for her. I know she wanted (and I wanted for her) to go out on a high note. She did great last weekend at our home meet though...so I hope that sticks with her.


One of the moms of the host club came up to me...our girls have competed against each other from day one, until this year actually....and she congratulated us on Jack and mentioned how she'd heard that Noah was retiring from gymnastics and how sad she was that she wouldn't see her and us at meets anymore. It made me realize again how much this sport has impacted our lives...the people we've met and become friendly with, the travel we've done, the kids Noah has met. It is the end of that era. :( I'm gonna miss that aspect for sure.


She then also brought up that she wondered if Noah was leaving the sport due to poor coaching as her own clubs coaches have mentioned to her how bad our coaching situation is and how mean Noah's coach is to her on the floor. That's hard to hear. But it rings truth.


It's so hard as a parent to take a step back and just let things happen as they may. I want to fix this and make it so that the outcome is positive for Noah. I want her to be thankful for all the years of hard work, the ups and downs, the successes and the struggles...I want her to remember gymnastics as a great and positive part of her life. Will she? I think it will be hard. I think this past year as really put a knife in her spirit and her love of the sport.


If Noah could continue with her new diving career AND do gymnastics - I would encourage her to go for it. She really is a great athlete and I just hate to watch her leave something behind she loved so much.


I think I am in mourning.....


Well...it is almost 6am now. Still no dog. I hope he is ok and they decided to stay out there for the night and will be home soon. Geez - next to Jack, Taz is my other baby. I love that dog!!!


Jack is grunting away....struggling with gas pains. Not sure if I'll be able to sleep anymore anyway though. We normally get up and start our day by 7am. So I had a grand total of 2 hours of sleep as I was silly and stayed up to watch the season finale of Saturday Night Live. Bad me. I'm gonna be so tired in a few hours!

5 Positives.....

Well - it is time to return to being grateful and accountable and AWARE of life. Being pregnant you seen to earn (or take?) a certain amount of selfishness...and having a newborn also seem to earn you that right. But I've come to realize (after a short mental vacation) that at some point you need to step back and assess what is going on around you. Therefore, I am back at recording (and sharing) my 5 positive things about my husband and my 5 self-care points each week. Hopefully, I will be diligent about keeping this up weekly...it keeps me in line!

5 positive things about my husband....

1) He loves, loves, LOVES baby Jack to pieces! And he never complains about changing diapers...even though he does only change a couple each day.
2) He works so hard for our family - 10 to 12 hours a day, 6 days a week.
3) He left work and drove Noah to gym one afternoon with 1/2 an hours notice when I was supposed to but was dead tired and just gotten Jack down to sleep and desperately needed a nap myself . He really is a great dad to Jordan & Noah and has always treated them as his own. You would never know otherwise.
4) He fixed a big hole in the wall (that I made) without harassing me about it.
5) He is the best cookie baker around and makes them on a moments notice if I have a craving! His newest are trail mix cookies...YUM!


My 5 self-care activities this week:

1) I showered! (seriously - with a newborn - this IS self-care!)
2) I took the time to straighten my hair. Which I love the look of but hate the time it takes, so don't do it that often anymore.
3) Enjoyed a glass of cool white wine.
4) Spent some time organizing my scrapbook stuff. Not so much "self-care", but it is a form of enjoyment.
5) Bought some Clinique moisturizer and got a bonus! Have not used anything yet, but I have it here for when I do.

Ok - the last two may be stretching it a bit, but it's all I have for now. Obviously, I need to focus just a little more each week on doing nice things for myself.

The BIG 40!

Here it is....40 has arrived. Uneventful, but here whether I like it or not.

Birthday's seem to stress me out. They always have. 30 was crazy - I honestly think I had a 1/3 life crisis when I was approaching my 30th birthday. It took me a while to recover from that one. I feel like I am in a much better place now than I was then...but it weighs on me.

At 40 I am grateful for:

• My 3 kids. My life would not be so fulfilling (or stressful! LOL) without them!


• My amazing husband. Always there. Always ready to be my hero.


• My family & friends - whose help is always there when needed.

So - what did I do to celebrate this milestone? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. Not even a glass of wine! It was a typical day home with Jack....feeding, burping, puking, changing, entertaining, sleeping... feeding, burping, puking, changing, entertaining, sleeping... feeding, burping, puking, changing, entertaining, sleeping.... you get the idea.

It was also the set-up night for our clubs gymnastic meet...which every parent must help out with. So we waited for Noah to get home from diving and headed over to help set up. It was disorganized chaos as was expected - but not my mess anymore...so we did what we could and made it out of there by 10:30pm. Noah and Anthony wanted to go out for dinner still, but I was pooped and Jack needed another feeding and bed...so I opted out and we came home. I had chilled a bottle of wine before we left but fell fast asleep before even getting the thing uncorked.

So much for a rockin' wild 40th birthday!

One Month!

WOW - time is flying here at Jack's house! We took some pictures of him and hope to remember to take these each month to see how much he changes...hopefully I'll even get around to scrapbooking them! he he he

Jack at One Month:

Loves to be held....by anyone!
Still has beautiful - BIG - blue eyes
Is not as sleepy as he was for the first 4 weeks
Is still wearing Huggies Newborn sized diapers
Loves his vitamin D drops
Is not an easy burper
Still fits all of the NB baby clothes he has
Generally cries when his diapers and clothes are changed
Does not love bath time
Still has fine hair on his shoulders and ears...so soft!
Takes a 2 oz. bottle of breast milk easily
Uses his soother to "soothe"
Still gets swaddled for bed at night time
Still manages to "Houdini" his arms out of his swaddle each night
Has big hands but smallish feet
....
Is the LOVE of our life!

3 weeks old today!

Jack is 3 weeks old today! Today is actually his due date...which feels kind of strange, like we are cheating the system somehow! LOL

It sure has been tiring, but boy do we love this little guy...he is sooooo sweet! I guess you forget how much work a newborn really is...even after you've already had two kids! Maybe I'm just older and tire more easily now! LOL But it's so worth it. Anthony is positively in love with Jack....as we all are. But it is sweet to see him be such a doting daddy.

Jack has lost an entire pound off of his birth weight so he is being closely followed up on each day by either our Dr.'s office or the public health/baby nurse that comes to visit. He is being weighed a lot and we have faced some issues with breastfeeding....but we are getting through it. The poor guy has jaundice and is so tired all the time, it's hard to keep him awake and eating...and therefore gaining weight. It had been suggested that we start supplementing with formula...but we are going to stick with strictly breast milk if we can.

My gym-mom friends had a baby shower for Jack...it was fun to see some of the moms as I feel pretty disconnected from the gym. After all these years of spending 40+ hours a week doing everything for that place it's weird to pull back and let it go. But the shower was nice...good to see people outside of that place...and Jack was spoiled...he got lots of goodies and was passed around and fawned over by all.

The story of baby Jack....

Sunday March 22, 2009

Anthony & I had an early start as we had a long list of things to-do as we prepared for Monday morning - the day we were to be induced at 37 weeks. We needed to buy a few things for baby and planned on going to look at dressers and finish buying some essentials...of course getting a pedicure prior to giving birth - gotta have good-looking feet, you know - was on *my* essential list as well.....so while hubby went and read the newspaper in Starbucks, I got a pedicure. I had already been to my waxer lady (aka aesthetician - sp?) the day before and had all my waxing done - priorities, priorities! LOL

After my pedicure we went for a quick bite to eat and I realized that I had a message on my cell phone. I called and checked and it was the hospital calling to ask me to come in right away to be induced rather than coming in the next day. I guess they were not busy and were being pro-active. YIKES. Anthony & I both were kind of freaked...it was bad enough that we wouldn't be ready for Monday - let alone going in a day earlier than that. They had asked me to call them back right away so they would know whether or not to expect me. I stalled. Anthony wanted me to call but I knew if I did, I would be on my way and really, I just wasn't ready.

I know most moms-to-be would be jumping at the chance to give birth 3 - 4 weeks early - but I really wasn't. I was looking so forward to a few weeks at home to shop and nest and get myself mentally and physically prepared. So I dragged Anthony around the mall a little more trying to buy what I had on my list but I was preoccupied and couldn't make any decisions anyway - so I finally gave in and called the hospital back. Yes - they wanted me to come in right now.

Anthony & I headed home and started to get a bag ready for baby and my own bag ready for myself. I probably made that take a lot longer than necessary as we didn't even get to the hospital until around 4:30 pm!

Once we arrived at the hospital we went to admissions and got all set up and headed up to the labour & delivery unit. They were really great in there and sent me in for an assessment. I had to repeat my entire pregnancy from start to finish to about 6 different nurses and doctors and med students - as Foothills is a teaching hospital. The glucose intolerance, the heart problem, the high blood pressure, the insulin doses, the fibroid in my uterus, the bio-physical ultrasound results, my previous birth stories etc. etc. It was very repetitive and seemed like a long process but I understand the need.

This is my pre-labour happy face!

After all of the questions, it was determined that they would proceed with the induction as planned. They did ask me which way I would prefer to be induced....lucky me, I'm sure most don't get a choice in the matter. The four choices were:
1 - break my water and see what happens naturally
2 - give me the gel on the cervix
3 - start the IV drip/pitocin
4 - a combination of the above

My concern was - which of the above has the highest risk of ending in a c-section? That took on some debate as it hasn't been well documented, however, apparently one of my OBGYN's was doing a study on it so they signed me up as a test subject. LOL In the end, they felt that the gel would have the highest risk of ending in a c-section - so we put that at the bottom of the list and I opted for having my water broken and seeing what my body could do on it's own.

So I was admitted and given a birthing room. As Anthony & I hadn't had dinner yet - they sent us off to the cafeteria to eat and when we arrived back at 7:30pm, they broke my water. It was not so fun as the Dr. couldn't quite get the amniotic sac to break and had to keep digging around up there poking and pushing with what looks like a crochet hook. ugh. But the water did break eventually and we then spent the next 2 hours walking around in circles in a very small area of the labour & delivery unit. However, we did venture down to the main level once and found a computer to post a facebook update on! LOL

After two hours they checked my cervix and I was still just the 2 cm. dilated that I was the week before at my OBGYN check up. Hmmmmm. I was having contractions and a really bad sciatic/thigh/calf pain that would not ease up - but it wasn't making me dilate.

At that point we decided to add the IV drip/pitocin. Which sounded great but the nurse had a helluvah time getting the IV in my hand - I'm still bruised! I guess I could have kept walking around and pulled the IV stand thingy around with me but I opted to hop in bed and get comfy and wait it out. Because of my high blood pressure I also had to be attached to that monitor and have my pressure checked every 1/2 hour or so. And the drip certainly made the contractions stronger and a little less bearable, but I managed to breathe through them for hours. A friend at work had made me a great song list and put it on Noah's Ipod for me to listen to and it really helped get me through a few hours.

Monday March 23, 2009

Anthony made himself comfortable on the pull out chair/bed thingy and napped throughout most of my night-time labour. I was moaning and groaning every three minutes when I'd get a contraction and he'd stop snoring once in a while and ask how I was doing. Uhh...big help dear, big help. LOL But honestly, I didn't really care too much - he was tired and I was OK on my own listening to my music and waiting.

Anthony getting comfortable!

At about 3 am I was having trouble handling the pain - in hindsight, I think I could have handled it, but chose not to. I am a wimp at best anyway and have a very low tolerance for pain! I had an epidural with both of my other kids - so I knew going in that I was going to want/need it if the labour didn't go fast.

The nurse was like OK - if you really want it, I'll order it - or you could try walking around or using the birthing ball or having a shower etc....and I was like...um, no thanks - how about I just take my epidural now. She laughed and agreed...if I was planning on ending up with one - why delay it and go through so much unnecessary pain first? So she paged the anesthesiologist...and lucky me, it didn't take him long to arrive...but then the fun began - OK - actually - that wasn't fun at all... The poor Dr. could not get the needle to go in the right spot - he tried for over an hour and kept hitting the bone. He asked me if maybe I had arthritis in my back? - but I don't and I told him that I had two previous epidurals without any trouble - so he kept trying. Meanwhile I am trying to control myself through the contractions as he continues to try and get the needle in - which means you must stay absolutely still during each contraction so you don't move and the needle hits the wrong spot - and then you end up paralyzed!

In my head I am panicking - hoping that he doesn't give up and say he can't do it! I had/still have a whole row down my spine of poke holes from failed attempts. It was not pleasant! But alas, he finally did make it in the right spot and sweet relief was not far away at that point. Afterwards he apologized for taking so long and said that it was a humbling experience for him. I guess he has never had such a hard time before - aren't I special? LOL

Ahhhhhh - once the epidural was in place and flowing well - I relaxed. I commented that I'd hoped whomever had invented it won a HUGE prize for it. ha ha ha Anyways - it did the trick - I dilated from 2 to 7 cm. in no time!

This is my post epidural happy face!

Going from 7 - 10 cm. took a while longer as they didn't want me to strain in any way because of my high blood pressure/heart problem...so we just relaxed and waited for things to open up on their own. The night nurse was hoping we'd deliver before she left her shift at 7am but nope - we were still waiting.

The next nurse came on and had a new nurse shadowing her - so I had two nurses for the rest of my time...and it was great! They were awesome! I must say out of the four nurses we had throughout the evening/night/morning in labour and delivery I could not have asked for any better than they were. I'm so grateful that they made the experience that much better.

Finally - I was 10 cm and should have been ready to push - but they did not want me to strain and they even had an EKG done just to make sure the old heart was holding up well. This was where I started to get nervous as I worried that they would decide (after all that labour!) to send me in for a c-section anyway. But I had two young fresh and awesome resident Dr.'s that were willing to let me just relax and let the baby pull himself down the birth canal rather than having me try and push him down and possibly strain my heart. So this took a couple of hours....I think it was 9:30am before I felt a real urge to push. They Dr.s gave me the go ahead to try some pushing and see what happens. Well...all it took was 20 minutes and he was ready to come out. I have to say everyone was so encouraging...and we had a roomful - two resident Doctors, the OBGYN on call, two nurses and two paediatric doctors...and Anthony. Oh and the anesthesiologist was popping in and out to make sure I was ok - still feeling badly about getting that darn epidural in!

The pushing was actually pretty easy but they did determine that baby was "sunnyside up" - meaning face up. Which I will say is much more painful than the cute name they give it! LOL I have seen on "baby shows" where that alone can end up meaning a c-section! Lucky for me, my Dr.'s were ok having me give it a natural try. I ended up having a 2nd degree tear and the poor baby came out with a really flat nose and his forehead and the top of his head were horribly bruised (purple). But he cried and let us all know he was fine.

Baby Boy Palaschuk
Born: Monday March 23, 2009 (at 37 weeks - 3 weeks early)
At: 9:55 am
Weight: 7 lbs. 15 oz.
Length: 23"

I was a little surprised at his weight - thinking he should have weighed more to justify being induced 3 weeks before his due date. But the Dr.'s assured me this was the weight they wanted him to be born at and had we waited another 3 weeks, he would have weighed closer to 10 pounds. Now that would not have been fun to deliver face up! Ouch!

Anthony was happy and grinning and was so enthralled that he totally missed getting any good birth pictures! How can he be married to a scrapbooker I wonder?

I did have to have my tear repaired - and as the Dr. was stitching me up I asked - how bad is it? how many stitches do I need?...and she laughed and said - oh don't worry, it's just one big long blanket stitch. Lovely! So I still don't know how many stitches it actually ended up needing.

After the pediatric Doctors checked baby out after I had a cuddle with him - they were concerned about his blood sugar levels - due to my glucose intolerance - so after I nursed him, I expressed a small amount of milk and they fed it to him from a cup in order to re-check his sugars...and he was perfect! It was pretty cute to see this little newborn drinking from a little cup!

So cute - and smart - this boy is - just minutes old and drinking from a cup!

At this point my mother-in-law showed up with Jordan and Noah and they came into the birthing room to meet their brother. It was so great to have them there so soon afterwards so they could meet the little guy. I think Jordan took a bunch of pictures - I guess I'd better get copies.

A snuggle with big brother Jordan!

And pretty soon they were getting me up and in the shower - which felt great! And then it was off to the postpartum unit. And that is where my excellent adventure ends and I become a bitter woman! LOL

I had asked in advance for a private room. I know myself well - and I do not sleep soundly under the best circumstances and I know that sharing a room will not be fun. But all the private rooms were still full as it was still early in the day and the occupants had not been discharged yet.

So I get wheeled into this little room - there is already a woman in the window bed and I am put in the bed by the door in front of the bathroom. As soon as I got in the room I was unhappy - I am totally claustrophobic and it felt like the curtains were touching me on all sides - that's how small the space was.

The woman and her husband on the other side of the curtain were talking really loudly in another language but it sounded more like they were yelling...just the volume and tone of their voices was stressful to listen to.

The postpartum nurse comes in to introduce herself and I ask if there is any way to still get that private room later on? Nope she says - it is the hospital policy that once a room is assigned, a patient cannot be moved. Grrrrr. Ok - I say - then I would like to be discharged today as I can't spend the night in this room. The nurse understood and was sympathetic but asked me to reconsider - so I agreed to wait till 10 pm (12 hours post birth is the minimum they ask you to stay).

Grandpa , Noah & Dad holding Jack (missing a picture of Grandma!)

The next 10 hours were awful! OMG - other than the fact that I had this cute little baby and my husband and family were there with me - I was in hell. The woman next door let her baby cry and cry and cry and cry...the nurse kept coming in and offering to take her baby for a while but she wouldn't let them - and she wouldn't get her to stop crying either. ugh.

At 10 pm - a new nurse was on shift and convinced me to stay the night...I was so tired I didn't really put up a fuss. And shortly after that is when the snoring behind the curtain began. It was like a freight train and a baby screaming in the background. My little guy seemed to sleep through it all just fine, but I couldn't sleep at all. The nurse gave me a set of earplugs and took my baby to the nursery so I could try and rest and she would bring the baby in to nurse when he woke up. So that part worked out ok.

When the Dr. on rounds came by at 7am I asked to be discharged ASAP - which was fine, but I had to wait for the paediatrician on rounds to come about and discharge the baby. At 11am she came around but didn't want to discharge baby because she wanted to monitor his sugar levels and his nursing. Luckily the nurse from the morning before was in my room too and argued for me that we'd be better off at home. Happily the Dr. reluctantly okays baby to go home too.
Whew - there is no way I could have stood another moment in there.

At that point we had to fill in the paperwork required - which also included naming the baby! I had wanted to see the baby before deciding anything so we were not 100% sure on which names to use. But the ones that Anthony & I both loved were Jack Lawson. Despite disapproval from the MIL and Noah - that is the name we chose - and I really think it suits him.

Getting ready to go home!

After we handed in the paper work, Jack needed some blood work done - which was horrible to watch - as they had to squeeze his poor heel a few dozen times to get drops of blood from it. Afterwards we got Jack dressed and ready to go in his car seat and headed home - finally!

I'm sure I've missed some details - so I will update as I remember things.

It all seemed to happen so quickly - I really wish I could be there and relive it and enjoy it all over again.

So far Jack is amazing - will update more when time allows!

Big baby = Baby on Monday....

So I'm kinda flipping out.

Last Thursday I went in for a bio-physical ultrasound - which was used to determine the size of the baby. Looks like baby is big - ok - we knew that...I'm huge! LOL At that point he was measuring 7 pounds at 35 weeks - with 5 weeks to go and gaining an average of .50 - .75 pounds per week....he'd be getting MUCH bigger by my due date. And I guess that the baby's tummy is measuring too big - in the 95% percentile - which is not so good. Now - this can be caused by my blood sugar levels which I have been trying to control but my body is just working against itself and they are what they are - kinda out of control! Which the Doctors assure me, is not my fault in any way. I'm eating really well, smaller meals more often, taking insulin and barely gaining anything.

So I went in today for my 36 week appointment with the OBGYN. The nurse measures my fundal height – it is 40!!! It should be about the amount of weeks pregnant you are - so I should be about 36. Hmmmmm.....I am now measuring 4 weeks larger than I should be.

Baby has not dropped at all…he is still happily tucked up as high as he can be in my ribs - not at all engaged or ready to come out. I have to report that my sugars are still a bit out of whack and they checked my blood pressure - which is a little high at 120/90 from what I’ve been keeping it at (I’m still on meds to keep it low and under control).

The Dr. comes in and reviews my bio-physical u/s from last week and is a little concerned at the baby’s belly size. So then he does an internal check to see how my cervix is – Apparently it is “ready” he says and 1 – 2 cm dilated already. Ok he says – we’ll induce Monday at 37 weeks.

OMG – WHAT???

No way! I’m thinking – no way can I have this baby on Monday! I have still another week of work – I am not ready to pass anything off…my files need attention..I have LISTS of things I wanted to leave for my replacement and I just have too much to do, I have my work year-end audit/going-away lunch next Wednesday, the crib is on order and is at least another 3 weeks or more away, Anthony & I have only done 2 out of 6 prenatal classes, I have a board meeting to attend, both sets of my BIL/SIL’s are away – one on a week ski trip the other in Hawaii for two weeks, my own sister won’t be here from Thailand till April 2nd, my baby shower is supposed to be on the 29th, OMG – I don’t even have a freakin’ diaper bag and anything ready that needs to be. I have so much to get yet – nursing top/pj’s, slippers and housecoat for the hospital, all baby stuff in general…ACK! Not to mention that Noah has a big competition in Lethbridge the following weekend and another in Edmonton the weekend after that…so…NO, I can’t have a baby on MONDAY!!!

Well, it looks like I don't really get a say. Baby is coming next week whether I like it or not - whether I am ready or not.

OMG….I am a basket case!

I know so many other pregnant moms that would be thrilled to be delivering 3 - 4 weeks early - but I'm just not. I don't feel ready - I'm NOT ready! I'm enjoying being pregnant and was looking forward to finishing work next week and taking a couple of weeks to relax and prepare for our new stage of life with our new baby.

It's all out of my control now!

And I really wanted an April baby. Sniff sniff - I want my Easter baby!!!

Baby's 3-D Ultrasound...

Just for Melissa - here's the only video we got. Baby didn't co-operate very much so the video isn't that great.....but here they are - 3 short clips....

Life in the pregnant lane....

So this week I am 34 weeks pregnant. Technically, if I go full term, that is a mere 6 weeks away. But I have a feeling this baby boy will be early. I'm due April 13th, but am hoping for an April 7th delivery. So 4.5 weeks away. Yikes. That is really soon. One of the moms that I met online was due April 6th and had her baby this week - 4.5 weeks early...a healthy baby though and already at home. Kinda freaky! There is just so much to do...and it feels like so little time.


We really have been procrastinating a bit - we have bought a co-sleeper bassinet, some clothes, a case of diapers, a couple blankets...and uh - that's it!!! We borrowed a car seat but have yet to buy the baby essentials, a crib, dresser, stroller and all of the other fun things a baby needs.

My friend was planning on having a shower for us before baby came so I kind of put off buying things that people would most likely want to give baby...however, time is running out and I'm not sure the shower will happen any time soon.


The pregnancy itself is going ok...a few little things...low iron and I have glucose intolerance - which just started out as me having to check my sugar levels 4x a day and eat regularly and eat more and less of certain foods...but the sugar numbers remained crazy and I ended up on insulin as this kid is growing, growing, growing HUGE! I'm used to it now. Timing every morsel of food, insulin 4x a day, sugar checks 4x a day - my life is regulated by eating. It's ok - I have never been a good eater so really, it's good for me. My weight gain has been good - except for this past week I packed on some weight - but that could just be water retention - yeah - let's go with that! ha ha ha Otherwise - I'm starting to have trouble sleeping - or staying asleep, peeing a lot, starting to waddle when I walk, and the heartburn is just killer - 24/7! I should buy stocks in Tums!


And still...our lives are busy....no-one could dispute it. I just finished up at the Herald but still have 3 weeks to go at TC. I hope I can make it - every day is a chore. Anthony is really busy with his company - he has a new partner which seems to be working out really well. Jordan is working and gearing up for finals. He leaves in about 8 weeks for Europe for the summer. Noah is busy, busy, busy...she left this morning for a gymnastics competition in Montreal....it'll be a tough one as it is HUGE competition - the biggest she has ever attended and kids from all over the world compete here. We'll hope for top 35 maybe? But from past history it seems like the western girls don't fair as well as the eastern trained girls. Must be our laid-back western attitude. LOL But really - we have put no pressure on her and we have no expectations - just that she goes and does her best and enjoys the weekend. At the same time, this meet is also the world cup qualifier - so for her to be there to watch that level of gymnastics is simply once-in-a-lifetime! I so wish I was there too...but Dr. said no way to flying at this point. party pooper. I'm sure missing my drinking buddy moms.


We drove to Vancouver two weekends ago for a real whirlwind trip - but we made it in 10 hours each way...not bad for winter - I'm pretty sure we can't make it that fast in the summer...but then again you are trying to pass the slow-moving RV's in the summer months...but the weather and roads were really good and we had a great time. Noah did pretty well considering she has a hyper-extended knee injury. She won bronze on beam and came 10AA.


It's going to be a busy few months with gymnastics - we have a meet almost every weekend and her diving coach also has her slated for some diving competitions...I guess our new baby is going to have to get used to lots of car travel and bleacher sitting! Oh well....train them young!


While we were in Vancouver we met up with the wedding photographer that did our wedding...and she took some pregnancy shots for us. I never did this with Jordan or Noah so I'm happy that we did this time. I'll post a few!

Happy 2009!

Wow - so here we are...in another year already...where does the time go?
2008 was a crazy, strange year but all in all productive and fulfilling in the end!

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Dear Family & Friends!

I hope that this note finds you all healthy & happy! Our lives are so busy that we are finding it hard to keep up with everyone and the Internet via Facebook & Blog Posts seems to be the norm now.

So happy 2009!

We are all doing well...happy and grateful for the wonderful things that life can bring.
I guess our biggest news is that we are expecting a baby in April! A baby boy! I am just entering the final stretch - the third trimester. So far I have been feeling pretty great...with the exception of tiredness, and some trouble breathing...oh and a slightly painful fibroid in my uterus....but really, I feel better than lots of pregnant people I know! LOL
I went back to the Calgary Herald for the Christmas Fund again, in addition to my regular job, so it's really been a crazy busy few months. I'm looking forward to things slowing down to a dull roar!

Christmas was fun, we spent it in the beautiful North Haven house...and it was lovely! We hosted Christmas Day Brunch for Anthony's family and Christmas Dinner for some of my family and friends. Boxing Day saw the arrival of our good friends the Willicks who came to stay during their son's hockey tournament. It was so great having a house full of people all week.

Life is moving along at full speed ahead. We are looking for a new house and hope to put the two we still own on the market...even though it's not the best time to sell, it is a great time to buy! So we are keeping on eye on the areas that we would love to live in and we'll see what comes up.

Anthony is busy with his painting company and still works at least 6 days a week. He is getting very excited about the baby and has said that maybe we should have a few more after this one...ha ha ha! Funny guy, huh? No really, there is such a big age gap between the kids, it might be really nice to have a couple that are closer in age....we'll see...maybe we'll just let nature do it's thing and see what happens.

Jordan is very busy in his second year of University. He has added a second degree now so his first major is German with a minor in Russian and a second degree in International Relations. It's all very cool and we are so proud of him! He has been accepted into a University exchange program for this spring in Germany to study at a University there and then take on a two-month work experience project. So once again, he'll be spending the spring & summer in Europe! Lucky kid!

Noah is in her final year of gymnastics and gearing up for some competitions all over Alberta and in Vancouver & Montreal. She has also joined a competitive diving club and learning all kinds of great new skills. It looks like she be competing in both sports this year - geez - she is an amazing athlete!
She is now in grade seven and still in the Spanish program and doing well. She joined the volleyball team at school and did really well, and she also started Band this year - she is playing the TUBA! She's a busy kid as she is also still involved in Girl Guides as a Pathfinder, but it seems to work for her! She is happy and healthy and as funny as ever...one can never say that kid doesn't have a great personality!

And that's the Coles' notes version of where our lives are right now. And all in all we are expecting a very exciting 2009!

Wishing you all a very happy and magical 2009!

With Love,
Allyson, Anthony, Jordan & Noah
xoxoxoxo

It's been awhile...

Yes, I know, it's been some time since my last blog update. August 9th, I believe. Looking back at the calendar now, I would have been 4 weeks pregnant that weekend.
And yes, that means Anthony & I are expecting a baby...YES, I said a BABY...next spring! After 3 - 4 years of not really trying to prevent it...it happens out of the blue!
I was feeling pretty tired and cranky and really, blogging was the last thing on my mind!
And honestly, it's been a roller coaster ride...lots of different emotions and feelings of happiness mixed with stress and uncertainty.

At this point I am now just about 17 weeks....and so much has happened since August!

We are living in the new house...well, sort of...we have not moved everything in...just what we need to live...not all the junk! There is still A LOT of little things that need to be done...some light fixtures, the main floor bathroom sink/lights, fence and yard worked on, paint touch ups...etc. etc. etc. And we still do not have a fridge, dishwasher or an oven, but the cooktop is installed and we have out old little bar fridge and my GF lent me a portable little counter top oven. However I have not felt too much like cooking. But with Christmas coming I'm going to want to do some baking...so I hope those appliances come soon!

Jordan is still in the old house as it's closer to school and the train to get to work. I think he enjoys it, but he is buying all of his own groceries, which is a wake up call! He eats a lot!
Jordan doesn't have too much to say about the new baby-to-be, but he says he hopes it's a boy, of course.

Noah is still in gymnastics but not really enjoying like she has in the past. There are coaching issues that do not appear to be changing so I think she is on her way out. It makes me sad as she still loves the sport so much, but she comes home feeling bad after training and I hate to see her like that. I feel pretty let down by the whole club and the attitude it has.

She has however, been invited to join a competitive diving team...so she is trying that out 4x a week right now. She seems to enjoy it. I asked what she loves about it and one of the things she said was..."Well, for one thing, no-one screams at you in diving!" Hmmmm....kinda puts THAT into perspective, doesn't it?
Noah is very excited about the new baby...and she has done very well, keeping this little secret to herself for quite some time now! Naturally, she hopes it is a girl!

Anthony wants a boy but thinks it's a girl.
I think I'd prefer a girl but think it's a boy. But I change my mind all the time.

I was so, so fortunate, that I haven't have one moment of morning sickness! There were days where I didn't feel great, but I was never sick. Which is so different from being pregnant with Jordan & Noah. But the tiredness...THAT is another story! I'm still tired and waiting not-so-patiently for the second trimester burst of energy!

However, we did get a little surprise when we went for my first prenatal appointment...
...apparently my left ventricle (in my heart) does not relax, which is kinda dangerous. I had these chest pains and shortness of breath last December and was sent for an Echo last January. Well, somehow the results were not read, or read incorrectly by my family Dr. and nothing was ever relayed back to me that there might be a problem. 9 months later....When we went for the 1st prenatal appointment I said that I was really having a hard time breathing and Dr. said oh that's normal in pregnancy, and I was like...no, this isn't normal. It's not normal that after one small flight of stairs I feel like I'm having a heart attack! So she said, didn't you have an echo last January?, and I said yes and she said that she would go back and have another look at the results...well she did and was pretty upset because she missed seeing this heart problem! She was freaking...that and the fact that she thought it could be twins because of the size and location of my uterus! Oh vey...so she referred me to a high risk OBGYN and a Cardiologist.

Since then, I am being treated with medication to control my blood pressure, which is controlling my heart problem...so for now...we just wait and see and take it easy. The number one rule is....NO STRESS. ha ha...yeah right.

We also went in for a Nuchal Translucency ultrasound to check on the probability of having a baby with Downs Syndrome...and the numbers looked really good. Yesterday we had an Amnio, which was a little painful, but tolerable. The results won't be known for another two weeks though. So much fun!

Well, that's it for today...I'm supposed to be taking the weekend off to rest after the amnio, but I still have a ton of stuff to do! Halloween tonight for one thing! Silent Auction for the gym tomorrow night....

5 positives about my husband....

My 5 POSITIVE THINGS about my husband for this week

1) He took some time off this past weekend to spend it with me looking all over town at dining tables and patio sets for our new house. He was very good about not complaining even after many stores.

2) We found an "Irish Coast" table that we both loved and luckily it was a floor model that was on sale and ready to buy. We decided to think about it as all of our cash is going into the new house right now...but Anth got up early the next day and figured out how to make it work and went to buy the table.

3) Noah really wanted to go to a rock climbing camp this past week as she had the week off of babysitting. And even though Anth would have to drive her there each day (and interrupt his work day), he agreed to it and took her down there to register and pay. And she was so happy and loved every minute of it!

4) My sweet hubby asked me on two dates this past week. The last one was a great dinner at a cute little restaurant we love & a movie that he let me pick -which he loved! It was fun!

5) Poor honey has been working his hiney off on the new house - sometimes staying well past 8 pm at night. I think he is getting lots done and I am not nagging him to come home. Works well.

6) My dear hubby has been affectionate and caring this past week. Sending me "I love you" text messages and such. I like it.

My self-care for the past week...

So my self-care has been lacking a little the last week. But I do have some things to report...

1) I spent an entire day purging the bedroom & my closet; throwing out stuff, putting together garbage bags of clothes to donate etc. It may not sound like normal self-care, but it really is, as it's good for the mind & spirit to have a clutter free closet!

2) I have been making & eating healthy dinners just about every night. I have some great cookbooks and as long as I pre-plan a few meals and shop in advance, it is stress-free to make a great dinner that everyone appreciates. As well, I have still been losing weight - at a slowish pace, but it is still down a little each week.

3) Finally booked myself a hair appointed. It has been too long and my hair needed some attention!

4) I wore a skirt. Hmmmm.....is that really self-care? I think so. I rarely "dress up", at least not to go to work. But I found a nice summer skirt in the back of my closet that I haven't worn in ages, so I did one day and I felt great.

5) I have been trying to have nice hot showers when I am stressed or tired at night. I find it gives me some down-time and gives me a little more sleep-in time in the morning.

6) I learned some meditation and deep breathing exercises. Definitely relaxing!

Ok - 6 isn't bad. I'm still working on this...hopefully the list gets longer with time as I learn to put myself first in line for taking care of!

I like this....

"Privacy is not a right that should be expected in a relationship, but more of a gift that is given as an expression of trust. " via an internet friend.

It's close!!!!

The hardwood floors are going in RIGHT NOW! Yippee! The Copper Hood fan was installed, the plumber put the hot water tank in....stuff is getting finished..... The end really is in sight!

Ok - my sister just arrived and we are going out for some martini's....

So I'd better post my 5 positive thoughts about my honey for this past week....

1) He has been working so hard - 7 straight days last week on the new house trying to get it finished so we can finally move into it.

2) He got up early on Saturday morning and did all of the dishes (there were lots!) and cleaned up the kitchen before he went to work. Normally Jordan does the dishes but he was working lots and spending the rest of his time at Folk Fest, so they were stacked up. Noah was having a newly made friend sleepover that day and I was concerned that the house be somewhat tidy before her arrival. BTW - Anthony NEVER does the dishes.

3) He shopped for and made healthy dinners two nights in a row this week - without me even asking or hinting. He told me afterwards that he didn't want me to think that I was the only one responsible for cooking dinners.

4) He helped our friend move some of her things to her new house yesterday even after working all day and being dead-tired and me knowing he didn't really feel like it.

5) He has been helping Noah purge, clean and pack up her room each evening for a couple of hours for our upcoming move.

6) He has been more affectionate and easy to be around all week. This may be because I have been affectionate and easy to be around as well.

It really is so nice to be able to sit and think of all of the good things going on!

My self-care for the past week (or so)

So along with my 5 positive thoughts about my DH each week - I am going to try and post 5 things that I did for my own self-care each week.
Self care being...taking care of number one - myself!!!

So lets see... I think I have to actually a little past a week...bad me!

1) I got my self a cute little pedicure!

2) I had a great 50 minute massage at our hotel in Denver...it actually hurt for DAYS afterwards...so I know it was good! ha ha

3) I went to see my therapist...it seems like weird "self-care" but it is exactly that!

4) I decided not to go into work tomorrow so I can sleep in a little and go with DH for a nice long walk with the dogs.

5) I made a nice healthy dinners this week and have been making sure that I take my vitamins, fiber and goji each day for my health!

Ok - so the goal is to actually be able to find 5 things that I do EACH WEEK just for myself! I know that sounds easy - but for me, obviously not so. I'll try again for next week!

Oh what a busy month!

It's been a couple weeks since I posted and we have been busy, busy busy! I just can't seem to settle into a nice calm life...it just turns to chaos, it seems.

But I did not want to miss posting my positive thoughts about my hubby...

1) DH did not complain about the fact that I went for a pedicure and a leg/under arm/bikini wax last week.

2) Had a lovely time at an MX race that DH was in and he didn’t even get upset when he ran out of gas and had to push his dirt bike across the finish line. It was a great day of just hanging out.

3) After about 7 months without one, DH finally went and got a new propane tank for our BBQ yesterday and even re-arranged the deck area so it is more efficient. (This is funny, as I have complained about not having a tank or being able to use the BBQ before but have tried hard not to say much about it for the past month or so, yet Monday his dad asked him to go bring him a filled tank…which he promptly did!)

4) DH has been pretty snuggly in the mornings before I get out of bed. Love to wake up and feel him reach out to me before I have to jump out of bed.

5) DH complimented me on the dinner I made last night. (I am trying to cook more!) I'm making a roast with veggies tonight.

6) Bonus - had a great time in Denver for DH's friends wedding even though I only knew a couple of people there. DH made sure I met lots of people and had fun

being positive

So I'm still reading "that book" that I was talking about a few posts ago...the one where I won't maybe post the name just yet...(gotta see how this plays out, first! ha ha)...but there is a group of women that also subscribe to the theories in the book that have an Internet group that I belong to and one of the things you must do each week is share 5 positive things about your husband.

Because I know that I am not perfect...and I know that I tend to hide affection and emotion...this is my new accountability to being positive about my husband. This can - and maybe should, also be done for your children...but this is where I am starting...
so here is me being positive...

5 positive things that I must say about my spouse this week....

1) I appreciate that my husband is here at home with me...right now...waiting patiently for me to get off the computer.

2) I love that my husband went on a wild goose chase looking for "Collins" glasses and "parfait" spoons at the mall one day.

3) I'm grateful that my husband drove my DD and the girl she is babysitting to swimming lessons this week.

4) I was happy that my husband took our friend and myself to earls (after her wedding shower) for martini's when I know he would have rather went home to bed.

5) I appreciate that my husband was nice to me when I had a bit of a hangover after said martini's.

Not too hard...but it took a little bit of thinking.

Being Blah...

It's Monday. And I had to work. And it's rainy. And the living room windows leaked all over the floor. And it's "Stampede" time - yay - not. And the new house isn't ready. And the old house isn't ready. And I have PMS. What else could make a Monday more Blah?

aaaaaargh.......

Ok - let's be more positive here!

I did have coffee (well, I had green tea!) this afternoon at Starbucks with a friend, which was lovely. Actually - I would not really have considered her a friend until now. She is a friend of Anthony's family - someone that he grew up with - and in the 10 years that we have been together - she has been away for most it - going to school , living & working overseas. Anyways - whenever she came home, we always enjoyed a dinner at my in-laws or something and I've always thought she was pretty cool. So Saturday I went to her wedding shower...and together we had a great time enjoying lots and lots of wine. Then we convinced my husband to take us to Earls for martini's...and you KNOW I love those yummy babies! So...we got pretty happy and quite enjoyed ourselves. And today we went for a tea and a chat and it was quite nice - something that I will look forward to again in the near future.

Oh yeah and Anthony's brother and his wife have moved home from Australia! It was great to spend some time with them this weekend...besides a quick visit last year, it's been a couple of years! After a few hours though, it was like they had never left! Weird.
And Thursday I am getting together with both of my sisters-in-law...It has been a while since all of us have been living in the same city...so it should be fun. We are the three "Mrs. Palaschuk's"...married into it.

Tomorrow I am going to my second personal therapy session...we are looking back at childhood trauma and how it can (or has?) manifested into PTSS. It's funny - the more reading I do on the subject, the more I realize that I had a screwed up upbringing. I mean - I knew my life was not your typical Brady Bunch family...but I've always felt above it though...like I overcame and prospered because of it. But maybe I've been wrong? Maybe *I* AM the problem...ha ha
Anyways...I'm open. I'm into healing what's wounded. We'll see.

Jordan got a second job and is working lots of hours...finally! That lazy bum! He has a lot of saving to do to make it to Europe for a term abroad.
And Noah has a babysitting job this summer. Watching a girl from the gym who is just a couple years younger. She seems to be enjoying it and I know she loves the moolah! She is still saving away hoping to have enough to go to Disneyworld with her friend in the fall.
I hope she saves enough, because I am trying to convince Anthony that would be a perfect time to have our "real" honeymoon!

Ok - we did have a real honeymoon - we went on an Alaskan Cruise. (WITH OUR WHOLE FAMILY TOO!) So maybe you can see why I have always wanted another one...just the two of us.
For our anniversary this year, Anthony gave me a choice of three things:
1) A traditional Hawaiian Vacation
2) Another Alaskan Cruise
3) A return trip to Puerto Moralis

But I have another idea....we have always wanted to go to Australia (Anthony's mom's heritage) and have never found the time or a babysitter...or the money. But if Noah is already gone for almost two weeks...then I would only have to find someone to watch her for another two weeks and we could take a whole month off! We could do New Zealand, Rarotonga &/or Australia....now THAT is a honeymoon!
I would have to take that time off of work...but it would be worth it! Anthony is pretty flexible...I mean we don't even know what he'll be doing in a month let alone 4 months...so we can make that work.
As for money - I have plenty of aeroplan points to use up - so we could get there no problem. We have friends of friends in New Zealand and Anthony's family in Australia. Maybe we'll even sell one of the houses by then...then there are no worries! I think its the perfect plan.
Anyway - just need to get the hubby on board! He likes the idea in general...or a "loose" plan...but I need it nailed down. Concrete. I need a REAL LIVE PLAN! Ah...there is that patience thing again.

So what else....?
Ah yes...my good friend Melissa and her family came for a visit. Although I didn't feel like we had a lot of time to just hang out and catch up and relax, it was still great. It's so cool too because we met on-line! She is such a good friend and an inspiration. Hopefully we will make it out her way soon as well. I should say that we do catch up on facebook...that wonderful time sucker!

To the minute update...
1 - Taz just peed in the laundry room on the floor and on my wonderful new sweater!!! Bad dog!
1.2 - I'm now doing a load of laundry.
2 - I'm making meatballs for dinner. The kind from M&M's so don't think I went all Julia Child here or anything.

So that is it for today. My blah ('ish) Monday!