Is it the beginning of the end....

So as it turns out...maybe Noah will quit gym.

Funny that I come to that conclusion after she just had the best training night ever (fun) tonight. It's too bad it can't be that way every day. One of our coaches was not there tonight and it made a world of difference in the atmosphere of the gym/athletes/parents.

I just spent the last 1.5 hours listening to the poor girl sob. She has lost all confidence in herself and it has been getting progressively worse since Alberta Winter Game Trials.
Interesting. That is about when we made a coaching change. She feels like one of her coaches doesn't like her much and the other one hates her. (could very well be true) And one she loves. She has just finished telling me some stories of how she has been treated in the gym in the past few months.
Scary.
I'm not even sure what to say because I believe it. 100%.

Yes, I believe that this is the beginning of the end.

I have a gym hangover.

What does that mean?
Well, you know when you drink too much and the next day feel like shit and swear you will never drink again?
Yeah - that's how I feel about the gym and gymnastics.

I still feel - I don't know......bad? disappointed? sad? frustrated? upset? regretful? uneasy?... about yesterdays competition. Probably all of the same things that Noah herself feels.

What does it all mean? Should this be it? The end? The last season? Is Noah done? Should she switch to a different sport?

Being 16th AA is just not ok with me. I know - what a bag I am. But really - Noah is better than freakin' 16th AA.
I am that A-Type person - my motto is don't do it at all if you can do it right! I hate the sub-standard. I AM that parent after all. ha ha
But I won't apologize for having a high standard. I have never, ever been that parent that says go have fun! No - if you want to be in a sport and "have fun", then go into a recreational program for an hour a week - or play a board game.
If you like a challenge and enjoy competing and winning then you should! And then that is your job. Obviously, it should not be unpleasant - but you are doing this job for an ultimate purpose.
But if you can't fulfill that purpose - then what?

She was prepared in the best way we could other than a sore back that we couldn't do much about. She was in a great mood the night before and the morning of. We told her - go out and do what you know how to do and do it clean. Not too much pressure - but enough for her to know that there is a certain expectation.
But everyone, at some point, has a bad day and if that bad day happens to fall on an important competition day...then what?

Ugh. I know all parents go through this - when should you call it the end?

Noah loves gymnastics and she has always been successful...but it is getting harder and harder to grasp that golden medal.
But is that when you give up?
NO - is what I might normally say. But I just don't know anymore.

What do her coaches think? Has she hit a wall she wont break through? Honestly, I don't know as they don't really communicate like that... so we never know where the expectations lie. I'm sure they are disappointed with her performance...(surely more than just disappointed?!) but what does that mean for her future? Will they just give up on her?

Or do we - together - try and turn this around and use it as a lesson and start now to make next year her best year ever?



Besides the fact that yesterday was awful and I am still slightly stunned at Noah's results...I just hate that gym some days. The drama, the crap, the problems....
My phone rang about 15 times while Noah was competing. (I had the ringer off - so I did not answer it during the meet) Who was calling so much? The gym and various gym parents. What did they want? Anything and everything. Their problems are my problems. And on top of that I came home to my usual daily inbox of emails - arguments, complaints and bitchiness mostly. Some days I just HATE IT!!!

We need to make some serious decisions about the fate of this gym club. There are so many things up in the air and needing to be done/decided. But first we need to hire someone to deal with this stuff on a daily basis. We need that person that the board relates to and they do the damn dirty work. It needs to be done and up until now, I have volunteered to be that person - but it is time to get this off my plate. Now to get the rest of The Board on board.


I think I will need more than just a Tylenol or two to get rid of this headache!

What a crappy day!

Today we went to Red Deer for the 2008 Provincial Gymnastic Championships.
It sucked. A lot.

It started yesterday when the snow and ice started and didn't stop. The highways were a mess yesterday and I worried about it all night thinking that it would be an awful drive. The families that competed yesterday texted and said that the roads were like skating rinks.
We woke this morning to more of the same.

We go to leave - 3 hours early for a 1 hour drive only to find that the wind shield wipers would not work. Crap! With no time to spare we drive down to Canadian Tire and luckily they sneak us in and get them fixed....which puts us 45 minutes behind schedule. We still need to pick up Noah's friend...another 15 minutes...Then we realize that we'd better top up with gas...another 15 minutes...then we need a Timmies for the road...another 15 minutes...needless to say we got a late start.

The highway right outside of Calgary was the worst part and there were cars and trucks and vans all in the ditches. But Anthony is a great/confident/safe driver so we were fine. I white-knuckled it for a while....but we made it to Red Deer just fine.
I really should get myself a prescription for Atavan or something.
We get to the competition mere moments to spare before warm up...not too relaxing for Noah I might add.

Beam was first and she did well...a 12.4. Honestly when they flashed the score - I thought YAY...this'll be a great meet!
But it wasn't.
It was, quite possibly, the (second) worst meet she has ever attended.

Floor was next - she was not warming up her full-twist well and I wondered if maybe Tanis would pull it. But she left it in. I love Noah's' floor music it is so fast/loud/catchy but geez - that girl cannot score a decent mark this year on floor. She did her full twist - it was not the prettiest I have ever seen...but she stayed on her feet. She did all of her lines and it looked ok to me. Not her best, but decent enough. They flashed an 11.0.
I freaked! (inside and to Anthony)
All of the other competitors were getting high 12's.
I stewed.
Tanis did go over to the judges after the rotation and inquire but I'm not sure what all the deducted her on. Will have to find out the details later.

Vault was next - she did a 1/2-1/2. Almost everyone else did a handspring only. Easy...they got high 12's - she got a mere 11.733....Ummmm....so what are the judges really saying - DO THE EASIEST VAULT THERE IS, AND WE WILL REWARD YOU WITH THE BEST MARKS??? Maybe she should be doing a front handspring then? Who knows...but it seems really screwed up!

I knew then that this was going downhill and fast.

Bars was last. Bars is what she was worried about.
Did she do her giant? Nope - she bailed in the middle of it and took a fall deduction.
WHY? She made it the last two meets she competed it. Why not this time?
I couldn't help it but then I just felt mad at her. I know I shouldn't be - but she gave up. You could see it happening right before your own eyes. And then she cried.
Which really pisses me off as I told her NO CRYING! I told her - if you do not do well, you can only look at yourself. You cannot blame anyone else. You are the athlete - and you are competing against yourself. If you blow it - why cry? Who are you going to blame? Your coach? Your parents? Your competitors? NO - you compete what you train and if you train like crap - that's how you will compete. Look back - did you give it EVERYTHING? If the answer is NO - then you know who to blame.

However - when she fell - I wanted to cry.
A hypocrite? Sure, why not. Just give me the damn Atavan!

Awards really sucked.
I knew that she knew that she didn't do great but yet she had some kind of hope that maybe, just maybe, she squeaked it out.
She did not.

I thought awards were bad at the last Provincials...but not this bad - If you look at the AA. 16th. Ouch. At least last year she was 9th.
They did however give her an 12.0 on floor when they had initially flashed an 11.0

It all feels like such a waste. A waste of a whole year of training. This is what it all boils down to and POOF - it's over and you got nothing.

And April brings.....

So far, April brought a HUGE snowstorm last Thursday...it was crazy - I went to bed and it was nice out - I woke up, had a shower, got dressed in capris and a t-shirt and headed out...only to open the door and find a gigantic snowbank against the door! YIKES What happened!?

I went back in and changed into some warmer clothes and headed back out to shovel my way to the van...by the time I made it to the sidewalk, my shoes were soaked. I had a Dr. appointment so I had to go out but the roads were nuts! Hello...People...winter was not that long ago...did you ALL really for get how to drive in snow in 1 month? Seriously!

Noah spent the afternoon shovelling the sidewalks, playing with Taz in the snow and making a snowman...

...which melted the next day...welcome to Calgary!

Speaking of Calgary - we went to the Juno's last weekend! They were being held here for the first time ever and we decided to go...it cost a small fortune but it was amazing all the same.

Fiest cleaned up - which is cool since she is from Calgary!

I loved all of the performances...it was like seeing 10 concerts but you only have to sit through their best song. I also saw people and enjoyed people that I would not normally buy tickets to see.

Noah loved seeing Avril!

I quite enjoyed Michael Buble...Jann Arden is always a fav....Fimder Eleven...awesome

Headly was fun...

Russell Peters is hilarious! I really must try and catch him at something else. He was a hoot!

To make it even more memorable, I did fall down the stairs...I'm sure if it hadn't been during the commercial break you would have heard my scream on TV while I was on the way down! Now - I was not drunk - so don't go all "alcoholic" on me! I had all of two coolers that evening. I did a number on my back and one leg but I am better now. The bruises are at least a faded green now. (ok - I should say that had the cooler stand have stayed open, I probably would have had a few more! he he he)

Gymnastics has been so-so...our club hosted the Southern Alberta Zones Championships in which the Provincial 2 & 3 level girls have to compete for a spot to go to the Provincial Championships. Only the top 12 in each age level qualify to go. ALL of our girls did amazing...just one, a good friend of Noah's had a bad day and just missed qualifying. I felt so bad...it's a tough meet...lots of pressure.
Noah did ok. Her vault was her best score...Ummmm? What!? It was a nice vault - but not her more difficult one...but a safer/cleaner vault. She was 4th.
Bars was good - she competed her cast-to-handstand/giant/layout-flyaway but her legs were bent...but it was still good enough to tie for a Silver Medal! Yay Noah!
Beam was shaky...not her usual confidence at all. She missed her connection in her back-walkover/back-handspring but she stayed on the beam! She was 8th...not her finest on beam.
I thought floor was rockin' as always - she did her FULL TWIST and landed it! But it was not reflected well in her score - 10th - sheesh! Everyone said she was robbed a full point...but what can you do? Judging is subjective, ya know!
She ended up 5th All-Around..again. Not the second all-around that was her goal. But really - you have to be clean to win and she has room to improve upon there.
Onwards to the Provincial Championships this weekend. I just hope that she has her head wrapped around it and goes in confident...surely it will be better than last year - which was 9th AA. I'll be crossing everything...

I wish I could say that the North Haven house is done - but it is not. It is beyond maddening...it is all in our control (excuse me...Anthony & Paul's control), yet is drags on and on and on....

My sister is back from Thailand for the summer...even though she is gone for 6 months at a time and I miss her (and worry about her) while she is gone, it feels like she never left. Funny how that happens. She is staying with our other sister...since the new house is still not ready to be inhabited.

The gym as a whole is still the most blood-pressure-raising of them all. Right now it is full-blown stress. Our Recreational Coordinator (a paid position) - quit on the first day of the Spring session and gave a whopping 10 days notice. This position will be almost impossible to fill mid-session. I am trying my very best to be ok with it but it really, really pisses me off. It's just plain rude.
Anyways - we have been left in worse situations and we will get through it but it doesn't have to mean that I'll be smiling along the way!

In 4 weeks we are supposed to be going to Cancun. We have not booked a flight. I have not asked for the time off of work. I do not have a tan. I think we should just stay home. Maybe I need to give my head a shake?

My sister/brother-in-law are due to have a baby in about two weeks. It's exciting and I can't wait to meet him! It seems like everyone is having babies right now...well, I guess it is spring - isn't that the right time for that?
I am feeling old. I always get a little down around my birthday...3 weeks and one year to go until I'm 40. ugh. I'm not ready.
Noah is growing up - she will be 12 in June and is showing the tell-tale signs of puberty....great...like we need more teen-age-itus in this house! Jordan offers enough of that! No Gracias!

So on we go...